Survivor: India

My family is visiting me in India for the first time since I moved a year ago. I have been begging them to come since before I even landed on the subcontinent. They have been reluctant, recalcitrant even, to leave their rooted lives. My guess is that they have had images of Mother Theresa's India in their heads since the 80s.

All I can say is thank God for Jeremy Piven, who has helped to upgrade their perceptions. A few years back he did some sort of tour around India, and my mom, an avid Entourage follower, watched Jeremy like a hawk. Now, instead of the starving, suffering, dying masses of Calcutta, she has Jeremy drinking coconut water in Kerala (South India) as a reference point.

So, perhaps they have some idea of what they're getting in to, and yet again, maybe not. On the phone with my brother, I find myself explaining a few unexpected things. Two weeks before his arrival, he is planning, he says, to ship a box of "things we may need" in advance. Like what? "I'm thinking of doing some bottled water and power bars, granola bars, and some sheets."

"Do you think I live in a tent and forage for nuts and berries?" I ask. This is not Survivor. I'm not sure what he's planning to do with the sheets--maybe use them to form a rope ladder and escape from India one night, but I talk him down from the ledge and convince him that I can provide sheets and enough water to last the duration of the trip: two weeks.

So, after much counseling about packing light and bringing an open mind, my mom, brother and his lady friend arrived a few nights ago. With them they carried several requested imports: Green and Black's Organic Dark Chocolate bars, Whole Foods Organic Crunchy Peanut Butter, and Kiehl's face wash. It's the little things.

What's on the itinerary?
Day 1: Fresh coconut water! Brunch at my man friend's house with assorted and sundry friends and food. Thai foot massages. Flight to Cochin, Kerala.

Day 2: Breakfast at Kashi Art Cafe, spirited haggling with Kashmiri shopkeepers. Tinkering with Chinese fishing nets. Antiqueing in "Jew Town." Visit to one of the only synagogues in India. Kathakali dance performance. Dinner of fresh seafood in coconut curry.

Day 3: Night on a houseboat with a tour around the backwaters of coastal Kerala. A canoe ride through a little waterside village. Fresh-from-the- boat lake prawns for dinner.

Day 4: Back to cochin for more shopping. Ferry ride to Willingdon Island for Keralite dinner at Taj Malabar Hotel restaurant, Rice Boat.

Day 5: Up at 6 to bath baby elephants. Ride big elephant. Lunch with a friend and her daughter. Last minute haggling on a Leica camera that may or may not work. Flight to Delhi.

Day 6: Up at 5 for train to Agra to see India's wonder, the Taj Mahal.

I'll stop here. I've caught you up to where we stand.

Now, the question remains, who will be the first tribe member to be voted off the island?
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